Dream Time...
For thirty-five years I had a dream! I took myself to be a guy! Not so conformist, just wanting to be free, to love, to live and enjoy this life. This was my ambition, my dream. Not so much finally!
Untill, let's say, by itself, naturally, the dream cleared up!...True Nature revealed itself and the deception of the play of the so-called personality was realized! Wow! Absolutely blowing! Without any doubt, I know my Self to be All, and All to be my Very Self, no-separation nowhere. Nobody. No-thing. Absolute free being awareness enjoying itself. Wow again! Just being now-here, being the fullness of it! Just realizing the Play of forgetfulness! Such a joke! Tremendous! No word to speak it. Absolute Gratefulness, absolute Core, absolute Love! Always. Only This Is. This is the Truth. No other.
"Pure Innocence"...
"Once upon a time"...
( ... the endless story...)
From this dimensionless "gap" of awareness, through this body-mind, I came to see that even if only This Is, in the play of forms not all recognize themselves to be the same One Reality!
... And this is blowing too! Such a misunderstanding! So much mind struggle and suffering for... Truly Nothing!... Wow! Amazing!... Astounding!... This is the Play of Leela! "Maha Maya", the "Great Illusion"!...
Voiceless...
... I knew nothing about nothing, I was not a "spiritual seecker", just a lover of Life, of Nature... my mind was just blown away...
After a few month it came back, finding not any support for this recognition; doubting, questioning, puzzeling, itching, making trouble... Then started a search for confirmation, for information...
... Kind of a "Dark Night of the Soul"...
I spent seven years like that... Wandering, trying to fix my mind, looking for what was finally true... I did all I could at this level, reading books, gathering information, exploring the 'psyche', travelling, meeting people... "awakened" or so... hearing endless "discourses"... The only result of that was just to bring my mind on the edge of craziness untill I met Keran, and listening to him, I saw that this mind attempt was hopeless... clearly enough to finally reach the "exhaustion point"!
Meantime, I was in an umpredictible situation, nowhere to go, nowhere to stay, no way to fix my plane ticket, almost no money left... nothing wanted to work, at any level... Somehow my mind could recognize that if it did whatever it could (and it really did!) nothing worked out... So okay... nothing more I could do!... "Forget all about it"... "Just relax!"...
In the very moment of this recognition, a surrender happened, a total let go, a "dropping"...
...and, so to speak... I found myself "right back"; Here and Now! Exactly where I was!...
In the middle of nowhere, in the crowd of a coffee shop corner... In the "market place"!...
Here It Is!...Precisely where I always am... Always have been!... Always will be!...
Right Here, right Now! No place, no time, nobody! Wow!
Just Here and Now. Nothing else. Free.
Tremendous Joke!...
Notes - Sattoji 
